just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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