I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
