I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Let's get the cat blown out
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
