Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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