I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Boobs speak an international language.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
