is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
