Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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