would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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