$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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