the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
