I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
