he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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