dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
