so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
