i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
