U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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