drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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