I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
