The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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