You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
