That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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