sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
