You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
