Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
