$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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