a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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