you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
