Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
