And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
