The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
