As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
