I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
