Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
