Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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