So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
