thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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