idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
