Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
