The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
