Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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