Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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