There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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