Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
