some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
