So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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