he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Randomize
