Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
