You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
