I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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