What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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