I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You're like the curious george of whores
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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